Snapchat Premium

Hello everybody. If you are new to my blog, welcome.

If you have read my previous blogs, then you will know the kind of person i am by now....

Honest and open, with a high number of careers and relationships behind me that never worked out....

You may have seen the news.

First of all, let me start by telling you that i didn't go to the news and ask them to write a story about me.

I've been working as a 'Snapchat Premium Girl' for the past 10 months. I mentioned it previously in one of my blog posts. I was working in an office where i was miserable, being picked on and vomiting daily from how anxious i felt. I was advertising my Premium on Instagram and my normal Snapchat account.

One day, i received an Instagram message from a girl called Kirsty. She told me that she works for BBC2 and was wondering if i would be willing to answer some questions about what i do on Snapchat Premium for 'The Victoria Derbyshire Show'

BBC2 had been searching the Snapchat Premium hashtag to find Snapchat Premium Girls. They found me.

I openly advertise on my Social Media that i do Snapchat Premium, so it really wasn't an issue for me to answer some questions. They advised me that other girls didn't feel comfortable exposing themselves. But why should we hide?

I filmed the short interview and was told it would be shown as a few minute documentary on The Victoria Derbyshire Show.

On Tuesday 27th November, i woke up at 8am to over 100 notifications. I thought 'oh boy, what's happened' .... The Victoria Derbyshire Show hadn't even aired yet, so i had no idea what it could be.

'Heard you on Radio1 this morning'

'You're all over the news'

'Just read an article about you'

Oh boy.

At 9am I received a Facebook message from BBC Radio Leicester asking if Ben Jackson could interview me. I have interviewed with Ben Jackson on numerous occasions about my experiences on Take Me Out, Coach Trip and to promote my Charity Calendars @carnallcalendar

Of course, i agreed. I've always been open in life, why would i stop now? Ben Jackson was absolutely lovely as always.... He told me at the end of the interview that BBC Radio Leicester have always supported me and people will love me no matter what. I really appreciated this comment.

Of course, not everybody in the world is as kind as Ben Jackson.

The Victoria Derbyshire Show was to air at 10am. So i had 30 minutes to look through my Facebook....

I find it quite contradicting that the boys laughing at me for sending nudes to people that WANT TO SEE THEM, are the ones that send FREE d*ck pics to those that DON'T WANT TO SEE THEM. I'm getting paid to do what you do, and people actually enjoy my photos, jokes on you honeys.

I also find it quite comical that the girls laughing at me for my new career choice, are those that have been messaging me over the years asking for advice about their appearance, their careers, and thanking me for all my help.

This is why i don't get offended by these kinds of people anymore, in fact, i feel quite sorry for them...

Whilst there was some unkind people publically writing statuses about me and cyber bullying, there was also some kind people messaging me and offering support.

I believe that without experiencing lows, how would we know what feeling happy feels like? We would just have one feeling, and not know the meaning of it. Without receiving bad news, how would we know when we receive good news?

I also feel like this with bullies.

How would we know kindness if everybody was kind?

How would we appreciate people, and the things people do, the words they say?

People say i deserve the hate i am receiving. That i shouldn't be surprised that people are being nasty publically on Facebook.

We see the videos of animals being abused and thrown into rivers, we hear the news of people being sentenced for murder. But, of course a girl just trying to be happy in life and making a living deserves public sharing and shaming as well, right?

NO

I am not hurting anybody in the process of what i am doing.

What i am doing, isn't any different to what a stripper does. I bet these boys being nasty about me would never go to a strip club, right? *pfffft*

People go into strip clubs to enjoy watching a woman dance and maybe to enjoy a personal lapdance. People buy my content to enjoy watching me dance and to enjoy me sending personal videos. What's the difference?

People go to watch men strip to fully nude and touch themselves in strip shows such as Dream Boys or Full Monty. People buy my content to enjoy watching me strip to fully nude and touch myself. What's the difference?

Talk about EQUALITY.

You see, i have learnt over the years that it doesn't matter what i do. And it doesn't matter what you do either, people will always have something to say.

I went to school. I was bullied.

I posted videos of me singing on Facebook and Youtube. I was bullied.

I stopped singing and worked in an office. I was bullied.

I stopped working in an office and worked as a TUI rep. I was bullied.

I haven't let bullies stop me for 26 years, why would i start now?

For the past three years, i have been producing Charity Calendars.

Myself and photographer Lauren Lewis at Picture Patch Photography have raised over £4000 for Charity with our calendars.

Our calendars contain male and female models, including MYSELF, stripping for charity.

My Charity Calendars made frontline news.

I was asked to discuss this on Radio Stations.

I was never bullied or publically shamed for this.

I start stripping to raise money for MY future.

My Snapchat Premium makes frontline news.

I was asked to discuss this on Radio Stations.

I am bullied and publically shamed.

Why? Why is it okay for people to strip for Charity Calendars but not for money for themselves to eat? Why is it okay for Music Artists to produce videos with half naked models, but it isn't okay for me to produce videos with half naked material?

'Gorgeous' topless women

Why are those topless women branded gorgeous but i am branded a sl*t?

Those models got paid for appearing nude in a music video... I am getting paid for appearing nude in a video....

It's like i said before. We all get hate. Miley Cyrus got hate for twerking. But Miley Cyrus doesn't care because she's Miley Cyrus! Famous people get alot of trolls. But they don't care. They are famous! I get hate....... for what? I'm just a human being trying to find happiness in life and earn some money for myself....

There is even a TV show called Naked Attraction.

People appear, literally NAKED, on TV. I think these people are so brave.

Why does everybody make such a big deal out of nudity?

We are born naked. We are all human beings.

People say i am trying to be famous. There is a lot that i have turned down in the past. I don't say yes to every opportunity that i am offered.

I say yes to things that make me happy.

Take Me Out made me happy.

Coach Trip made me happy.

Modelling nude makes me happy.

Why do people care so much?

Before i knew it, i was in the Spanish news and i was approached by a Radio Station that has 11 million listeners.

I interviewed for The Victoria Derbyshire Show, i had interviewed with Eamonn Homes on Talk Radio and Ben Jackson on BBC Radio Leicester, so i'm not going to say no to W Radio. People laugh at me thinking i approach the news and radio, and 'beg for it'

They approach me, because they are interested in my story.

Since appearing on Victoria Derbyshire Show and being in the news, i have been banned from Snapchat. They have actually banned my normal snapchat account, which is an account i never sent nudes on..... But to be fair, those that have reported me have done me a favor because it was extremely difficult keeping up with all the different apps and social media platforms...... That's not me being big headed, but my mobile phone is my office so it is literally 24/7. I have 'notification OCD' so i always wanted to clear my Snapchat notifications and it would literally just be people's back gardens or car steering wheels. I would also go on nights out and just take snapchats, now i can enjoy the moment more and not have to worry about my horrendous drunken stories the next morning [we all know that feeling]

Those that were on my normal snapchat, got my username from other platforms anyway. So Snapchat was just a duplicate of people on platforms i already have. I don't need it. So if you reported me, congratulations, you've solved...

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Here's my answers to some of the 'hate' i have been getting.

'Get a proper career'

I have had more jobs than hot dinners. I didn't want to leave job after job. I just refuse to live my life unhappy. I refuse to stay in a job that doesn't make me happy and isn't good for my mental health. I am very hard working. I have been a pot washer and i have also been a Supervisor of a National Gas Company. I have never been unemployed.

At one point i had three jobs at one time. And i still couldn't afford my outgoings.

'You should be worried about your future'

I live for today. I believe life is too short. I started my Charity Calendars when a family member sadly passed following being diagnosed with a Brain Tumor. Why should we worry about our future when we might not even have a future? Sorry to be morbid, but it's true. We should live our lives how we want to and do what makes us happy. When i am breathing my last breath, do you really think my last words will be ' I regret doing Premium'.......

Absolutely not. I will have no regrets. I will be thankful for every single day. I will be happy that i had the courage to ignore the bullies, and the confidence to do whatever made me happy.

'You are a bad example to young children'

We've all been young once. Children are curious. Children will grow up and have sexual intercourse one day. I'm sure my Snapchat Premium wouldn't speed up that process. I'm sure i'm not having a negative impact on any child's life. I am not forcing children to do any thing. Children have 'sexual education' in School where they are shown our human bodily functions. I do not send explicit content to anybody underage. Members have to sign up to my page and this requires a Debit Card. I'm sure children don't have debit cards and if they were to use their parent's, i'm sure the parents would notice a monthly direct debit for adult content that they haven't signed up to.

'You are fame hungry'

Ever so bored with this one. Literally it's sooooooo boring. I am not hungry for fame, i am hungry for happiness. But FYI if it is fame i wanted, and you're sharing my news stories or talking about me, then you're doing a great job of getting my there...... Thanks huns.

'I am going to report you to IRS'

I have an accountant and i pay my taxes like any other self employed worker.

'You are creating your own anxiety and mental health issues by doing what you are doing'

Yes, by being 'public' on Social Media about what i am doing, i will be attracting attention. But nobody deserves to be bullied and nobody deserves to be discriminated against. I have to advertise what i am doing on my Social Media pages, otherwise, how would anybody know? How would i get customers? How would i earn money? I am not creating my own anxiety. I am creating my future.

'You will never be a successful business woman now'

I produce and edit my own videos which takes hours of work. I run several Social Media Platforms and reply to up to 200 messages and emails a day. I have an accountant. I have hundreds of customers. I can earn up to £4000 a month. I do all this without ever studying Business Management. I do all this on my own.

If that isn't a successful business woman, then i don't know what is....

'She is lying about how much she earns'

I showed the Victoria Derbyshire Show my accounts book. I told them i can earn anything from £200 a week to £1000 a week. I did not say i earn £4000 every single month.

If you don't know that the media exaggerate news stories by now, are you even okay huns?

'Why is this even news'

You tell me?!?! There is much worst going on in the world. And selling nudes for money reaaallly isn't new and exciting news. Like i said, i didn't go to the news or ask for these stories to be wrote. I literally agree that this shouldn't be news and there is other stuff going on in the world that we should be focusing on.....

'You will never get a boyfriend now'

I have been single for six years. I have done Snapchat Premium for 10 months. Do the math.

'What will you do now Snapchat have banned you'

LUCKILY, i have other platforms that i earn money from. If i didn't, i would literally be having a mental breakdown. We aren't just talking about an app, we are talking about my income, my life. I am just glad i opened up these other platforms because i only chose to do so a few weeks ago.

'How do you cope with all the bullying and negativity'

I have been bullied my entire life. 99% of us are bullied. I have learnt over the years to ignore the nasty people. I can only feel sorry for them the fact that they haven't been taught and raised to be kind to others.

If you have ever been bullied or are being bullied, here's what you should think:

You should feel sorry for them that their lives can't be that interesting. How do they have so much time to focus on you and your life? Shouldn't they be focusing on their own? They are putting their spare time and energy into you. They are talking about you. They clearly have nothing else interesting or relevant to talk about. If bullies are making you feel not important, or not relevant. Remember this.......

If somebody is talking about you, you aren't doing anything wrong, you are doing everything right. You see, you are relevant. You are relevant to them. Even though you are doing absolutely nothing to them, nothing to hurt them or effect their lives, you are still having an impact on their lives.

You are more relevant than you'll ever know.

You are giving them something to talk about. Something to entertain themselves. You don't need to be unkind to others to feel good. You don't need to bully others to feel relevant. You are relevant.....

It's sad to hear that it's mostly local people being unkind about me. When us locals have recently sadly lost people we know and love to suicide.

During this incredibly difficult and sad time, statuses were being shared, we were encouraging each other to 'speak up' and the words written on most statuses were 'you are never alone'

Certain individuals aren't encouraging me after i have spoken up. Certain individuals are doing a great job of making feel alone. We should all be encouraging each other to be happy. Not bullying each other. You call me disgusting. I think you're disgusting.

Luckily, i have incredible family and friends supporting me. Thankfully, i have had mostly positive messages. I would like to thank those family and friends that have supported me and to those that have sent me kind messages from the bottom of my heart. It means the world to me. Literally.